I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
