I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
