nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I don't think brook has ever known best
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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