My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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