my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
