kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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