I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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