I wannas sexs uuuuu
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
