Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
