yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize