question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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