he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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