Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
