Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

I'm eating all of the evidence.

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(845): View more from New York

People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk

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(716): View more from New York

Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases

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(808): View more from Hawaii

I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.

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(614): View more from Ohio

My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...

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(908): View more from New Jersey

There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding

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