Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
