Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You might as well just give her the money now.

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(480): View more from Arizona

ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.

(240): View more from Maryland

Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.

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