i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
