He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
