I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
