I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
