Fuck appropriateness.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
