Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
