Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You were trust falling into bushes
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
