So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
