If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
