i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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