did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
