I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
