please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
