One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
