Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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