Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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