Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
