I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
