So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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