Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If I die, sorry about rent.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize