Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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