please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
