I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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