just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
