Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
