i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
