I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
