my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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