That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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