So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
