Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
