I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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