So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
