Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
