..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize