What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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