He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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