I just cut my nipple shaving
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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