used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
