You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
