You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
