i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We got so high we made milksteak
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
