As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
