first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
my being single is dangerous.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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