Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
